Rebuttal to N.Y. Times Op-ed piece "Men, Who Needs Them?"

                                                              Men, We All Need Them!

      In a recent (Aug. 24, 2012) N.Y. Times Op-ed article titled "Men, Who Needs Them?", author Greg Hampikian states that men are becoming less relevant to both reproduction and parenting. In terms of men and their role in reproduction, there does seem to be a proliferation of assisted reproductive technologies, which relegate men to the "sperm donor" category. In other words, men are viewed as assistants in creating new life, but not of vital importance in being part of the child's' life as he/she matures. 

       The stance this male author took in his op-ed piece prompted me to do a little fact checking of my own regarding what the research is showing on the role of a father in a child's life. I didn't have to look too hard before I came across several research-based articles on the role that fathers play in the family, and in the development of children. According to authors E.M. Cummings and A. O'Reilly, "one of the most important ways a father influences the family is in his interaction with his children's mother. That is because the relationships which children observe and experience at an early age influence their own relationships later in life" (The Role of the Father in Child Development, pp. 49-65).

       According to author M. Shinn, "statistics about children who do not live with their fathers can be grim.On almost every outcome that has been tested, including educational achievement, self-esteem, responsible social behavior, and adjustments as adults, children do better when they live with both of their parents" (Psychological Bulletin,85, 1978, pp. 295-324).

      Studies seem to consistently reveal that fathers matter in the lives of their children. Rich Batten of Colorado State University states that "well-fathered children are shown to be more emotionally intelligent and socially successful as adults. Maureen Black, PhD, a researcher and professor of pediatrics at the University of Maryland School of Medicine states that " fathers who are involved with their children have children with fewer problems. That added involvement from a father helps children tremendously." Specifically, her research found better language skills and fewer behavioral problems in children with an actively involved father. This result holds true even if the father doesn't live in the same home as the child. Researchers at the University of Oxford reached the same conclusion about the link between paternal involvement and academic success in their study of 17,000 British school children.

     In the op-ed piece, Hampikian dwells on the female biological role in nurturing a newly conceived life, along with the need for maternal nurturing influences on a child. He dismisses the male contribution to the creation of a new human being, but he doesn't fully dismiss a fathers role completely, stating that his own father was the more influential parent in his life. However, fathers, according to Hampikian, are not "necessary and sufficient" for reproduction. He ends the article with a chilling statement- "with human cloning technology just around the corner, and enough frozen sperm in the world to already populate many generations, does "mankind" really need men? My answer to his question is an emphatic YES! Mankind needs men and their important role, both in society, and most importantly within the family. Without fathers, families suffer...economically and intellectually and emotionally. Fathers have a vital and irreplaceable role to play in the family with their relationship with their wives, and in the day-to-day development of children who are emotionally stable and well-adjusted, and academically successful.

~Kathy~

Teaching vs. Promoting an Agenda

                            Teaching vs. Promoting an Agenda


Teach: to show, to instruct, to impart the knowledge of

Agenda: a list, a plan, an outline, matters to be acted or voted upon




           When promoting "critical thinking" is tied to promoting the instructors'
 agenda, then it shortchanges the student, and cannot be called good teaching
 practice. Too often it seems, teachers fall into promoting an agenda of their own beliefs regarding politics, religion, gender issues or other "hot button" topics of the day. We are all tempted to do this in our daily life in encounters with friends, neighbors, or even with strangers. The classroom, however, is sacred space, where in order to facilitate growth and learning, one's personal agendas need to be shelved.
           As a student, I don't need, or want to know the personal viewpoints of the instructor. I want to learn the course content, whether it be philosophy, art history, or composition theory. In fact, when teachers use the classroom as a soapbox for disseminating their viewpoints, there is much that is lost in terms of good teaching and maximum student learning. 
           Another educational casualty that occurs when teaching takes a backseat to a personal agenda is a very un-level playing field. Instead of all students being valued equally by the instructor, some students become favored because they agree with the instructor on certain issues. This unequal treatment is felt, and is often displayed in critical ways towards students who hold viewpoints that differ from those of the instructor. This negativity reverberates within the confines of the classroom setting, and can grow over time, causing a decrease in certain students being interested, engaged and motivated to learn from this particular instructor. 
           Our educational system is not well served in divisive classroom environments. Even more sadly, students are not being served in these types of polarized classroom environments, where they are not valued by their instructors as unique individuals, and treated with the respect that they deserve.

~Kathy~

               






     

Appreciation...

                                             Appreciation

Appreciation is like fine wine...it needs time to mature and develop. Often a sense of appreciation can come and go like the rising and ebbing of the tides. Why is it so fickle? Why so seemingly dependent upon circumstances, or feelings?

Rather, appreciation should be like bedrock to our character. It should provide nourishment to our inner life, and point us in the direction of gratitude. Otherwise we run the risk of going through life, but missing out on the important aspects that make for a joyful life. 

One remedy for cultivating a sense of appreciation would be to closely observe small children and their heartfelt gestures of love. See with what joy they give of their crayon drawing, or their finger painting. Reflect on the importance of showing that you appreciate their small gift to you, and that this message ripples down through the generations in your family, connecting each one of you in an unrepeatable way.

Little by little, try to take minute vacations, where you stop what you are doing and listen to the birds, or study a rosebud. Get down to eye level with the earth, and contemplate the intricacies of an insect. Mainly just slow down, and take a few deep breaths, and begin to pay attention to the natural world. 

It won't be long before you will notice that you are seeing things with a renewed sense of vision, both interior and exterior. You will also notice that life takes on a different, more reverential perspective.

~Kathy~

Challenges...

                                         Challenges...


The old adage that it is not what happens to you, but your attitude in dealing with it that determines who you are, shines a light on the important role that challenges play in the development and refinement of the person.  


Clearly, life isn't a bowl of cherries. There are always stumbling blocks along the path of life, no matter who you are. Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, believed that walls are there to give you a chance to prove how much you want something. I agree with him, as I have come to discover that the challenges I have faced in my life have been motivating factors, which have caused me to search deeper within myself for strength.


Challenges can also be humbling, because we come to realize that circumstances in life are not fully within our ability to control. This is a difficult realization, but also one of the beautiful aspects of a challenge, because our inner spirit is being polished for future opportunities. When we fully embrace a challenge, we push ourselves to new heights of character development. As we embrace challenges in our lives, we in turn become more compassionate and understanding of others who are facing difficulties. 


It could be said that challenges are blessings in disguise. The full impact of these challenges will not be fully understood perhaps, but an easy life, devoid of challenges, is not to be wished for if one desires full development as a person.


~Kathy~